In the Empty Dark
by umbrashadow
Summary: What happens when reality and hope collide? SasuNaru Sasu ... after a chance meeting on a dark night in a bar. Oneshot, with mirror fic Darkness Before the Dawn


**Summary: What happens when reality and hope collide?**

****

Disclaimer: I do not own any Naruto character.

Warnings: YAOI, boyxboy, dark, canonish (hopefully)

A/N: Alright, so I was discussing my issues with canon!Sasuke with someone the other day, and they said some things that got me thinking. This is in a bit my way of trying to work through the understanding of what is going on, so forgive me if it's overly self-indulgent.

**Oh yeah, and reviews are always welcome... if you have any comments about the characterization related to canon, that'd be interesting as well.**

**I had the Pat Monahan song "Always Midnight" in my head when I was writing this, too. I took the name from a poem I wrote once, in a way from the other side of this experience. **

...

"Was it worth it, Sasuke?"

The raven turned at the voice that was so close he could feel the puff of breath against his ear. He found himself trapped against the bar, gazing at a man who seemed half-drunk. In the dark light coming from dingy overheads it took him a minute to recognize who the other person was.

The blond had grown his hair long so that the bangs half-covered his eyes. The blue in those eyes was dulled. That wasn't the way that Naruto was supposed to look. There was an accusation in those eyes that Sasuke recognized – it echoed the look on the blond's face every time he'd seen him since he left.

The raven raised an eyebrow. "What do you think?" he said. One corner of his mind was trying to connect the man before him to the boy he'd once known. There was the faintest sense of regret in the back of his mind, coupled by the odd realization that he, who was always so good at recalling details, had needed to take a moment to identify the person who had once been the closest thing he'd had to a best friend. The only one who had truly been able to make him angry enough to lash out without thinking. It took a lot to get him angry now.

He looked the other man over in more detail. Naruto's clothes were dingy, in muted colors. There was no trace of orange. The thought that his own clothes were different from his signature style was an almost silent thought in his head. Sasuke was suddenly face to face with the fact that his past, the time that he'd turned from with one choice, was now truly gone. He wondered if his disappearance had anything to do with the way the blond had changed. He'd been willing to take on the sacrifice of all the ties with the people who made him weak, but it looked like his sacrifice might have included more than just him. He'd recognized that there would be short-term consequences for the others. At the time, he hadn't really thought about the long-term. He'd only been twelve at the time. Truthfully, though, if he had to make the same choice again knowing what he knew now – he would have done the same. In the end, people were responsible for their own lives. Naruto was the way he was because he'd chosen to become this.

Still, that small sliver of regret had him briefly wondering if the old Naruto was still there inside this husk of a man. It was for this reason, he supposed, that he made no protest when, after he turned around to sit at the bar, Naruto slid onto the stool next to him and ordered another round of drinks.

Sasuke had chosen this bar for a specific reason – he had no desire to spend the evening staving off offers from overly-endowed females. They tended to become more insistent the more alcohol they consumed, so it was best to stay away from those locations entirely. This bar was marginally better, which was good. He had no desire to announce his presence to the entire world, which would have been the temptation if one of the men around him did more than look.

It turned out there were advantages to having the dobe next to him, as well. Many of the men who had been shooting him looks of inquiry turned away once they saw he was with someone. The misunderstanding made him smirk momentarily as he took the shot the blond had ordered. The idea of him actually being with Naruto, in a place like this – he set the glass down on the counter and looked over at the blond appraisingly. The thought was almost surreal.

The conversation was awkward, at first. Something in the blond seemed to relax as time went on, though. Sasuke half-listened, still focused on the thoughts that had led him to come seek a moment of relaxation in the dingy bar. He made occasional noises of acknowledgement as the blond babbled on about people he had once known. It was almost like he wanted to ignore the intervening years like they had never happened.

"You aren't listening at all, are you teme?" Naruto exclaimed, turning to face him.

"Hn." Sasuke said, glancing over at the blond. There was a spark of life in those blue eyes that had been missing before. He ignored the slight papercut-like wound that opened in his heart at the sight. It matched the others that had been gathering there ever since he was aware of the blond's presence. They were wounds he had chosen, after all – a sacrifice that didn't cost something was no sacrifice at all.

He saw a man come up behind Naruto, looking over at them with interest. It appeared the man had been enjoying drinks for quite a while that day, because there was nothing in his gaze to indicate hesitation at the idea that Sasuke and Naruto were there together and not wanting company. Sasuke glared at him. They were better than rabid women, but the men who chose to hit on him were their own special type of annoyance. It was only after he saw how the man's gaze dropped regretfully to Naruto's ass before he took the hint and walked off that Sasuke realized it was possible the man hadn't been trying to hit on him at all.

He shook his head. Things certainly had changed.

"What?" Naruto asked, craning his head around in curiosity to see who Sasuke had been glaring at.

"Nothing." He replied, letting his gaze travel over the other man's body while Naruto's back was turned. Looking at things objectively, the dobe had grown up quite well. The raven turned back to the bar, banishing such thoughts from his mind. He noticed before he turned, however, that the looks Naruto was sending out to the crowd were vaguely threatening.

The blond shifted closer to him, and Sasuke had the sense that it was almost a territorial move. Like Naruto was claiming him. The thought was mildly disturbing, especially given the present locale. For the first time, he wondered what had brought Naruto into a place like this to begin with.

Of course, Naruto had been claiming relationship with him for years now. He wasn't blind. First as rivals, then as some sort of friends, and then even as brothers – or so he'd claimed. Though Sasuke would never think of Naruto as a brother. Family was something far different than any relationship they would ever share.

Naruto chuckled. "I guess it doesn't matter men or women, eh Sasuke? Looks like they're all after your ass."

The raven's left eyebrow twitched. "Usuratonkachi." The man was seriously clueless – that much hadn't changed.

Naruto elbowed him, then finished his glass and set it down. Sasuke wondered that the insult didn't produce a bigger reaction. In the past, it was simple to rile the blond up until he was sputtering uncontrollably. The blond looked down at the glass for a couple of moments, twisting it to catch the light. Then he rested his head in his hand and turned to look at Sasuke.

It took the raven a moment to notice the unusual span of silence. He looked over at Naruto and raised an eyebrow of inquiry. There was a look of determination in the blue eyes, and a hint of something else he couldn't quite place his finger on.

"When are you coming back home, Sasuke?" the blond finally said.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. He was so tired of that question. The blond was like a broken record. He had no clue what he was talking about. Why in the world would he ever think Konoha was home? The only home he'd ever had there was filled with the dead. The reasons they were dead were still alive and breathing back in that very place. The only reason he wanted to go back to that place was to give those people the same fate they'd given to his family.

He turned from the blond and stood up, not willing to spoil an already stressful night with another fight that would lead nowhere. Naruto put a hand on his shoulder. He looked back at him coolly, noting the short look of apology as the blond tried to figure out something to say.

"Eh, you ready to get out of here?" he asked.

Sasuke looked at the blond a bit incredulously. That was the way he wanted to save the situation? He narrowed his eyes, and then smirked. He could play that game as well. A part of him was warning not to bother, but he told it to go to hell for the moment.

"Why, Naruto, you have something in mind?" the raven said, lowering his voice slightly and letting his gaze drift down over the other man without a hint of subtlety. He noted the slight widening of the blond's eyes, and thought he would turn away, bluff called. Instead, the look in those eyes darkened with something Sasuke finally recognized.

"Sure," Naruto said.

Sasuke tilted his head to one side, realizing that it was now his bluff that was being called. Looking into those eyes, he knew Naruto was not as clueless about this as the raven would have liked. He glanced around, and decided that the inside of the bar was not the proper place to continue this conversation.

Naruto followed him outside, and they stood looking around for a moment. Finally, the blond scratched the back of his head and said, "Eh, your place or mine?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at the idiot. He was tempted to just leave, slip away from this impossibly surreal situation and find another place to relax. A place without stupid blond dobes that reminded him of the past. Naruto would no doubt try to follow him, however, and there was no telling what could happen once they got away from civilization.

He was almost sad, thinking that he wasn't really the one the blond spent so much energy chasing after. That person was gone, or hadn't even existed. He wondered if it would make a difference if Naruto was able to see him for who he truly was, now. Impossible things weren't worth thinking over for long, though.

It suddenly occurred to him that it might be difficult getting the blond to actually leave him alone, now that he'd found him. Judging from their last few encounters of the more hostile variety, the blond was becoming rather strong. He considered possible solutions, and came to a conclusion.

"Mine," he said, noticing the way the blue eyes reacted to his statement. He felt a sliver of guilt for the hope that flashed in them, and then he wondered who it was that those eyes really saw when they looked at him.

He led the way to the small battered room where he was planning to sleep for the night. They were quiet on the walk there. Naruto seemed about to say something several times, but thought better of it. Sasuke scanned the area constantly, wanting to make sure Naruto was alone and wasn't just a cat's paw used wittingly or unwittingly to capture the raven. He took a circuitous route to the room, and only entered the building it was in when he was fully satisfied that no one was following them.

They stood next to each other awkwardly after they got into the apartment and removed their boots. The suite was little more than a room with a futon in the corner. There was a tiny kitchenette attached, and a small bathroom across from the kitchenette. The only light came through a window in the wall next to the futon. The room was bare of any semblance of a home, which was fine with the raven. He wasn't planning to be there long anyhow.

"So um," the blond said, walking out into the room and looking out the window, "do you have anything to drink?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Water," he said. He watched as the other man went into the kitchenette area, flicking on the light and searching for glasses. When nervous fingers dropped a glass, Sasuke admired the way that the muscles in the blond's ass flexed as he bent over to catch it before it could shatter. He was convinced this was a horrible idea. Maybe even cruel. Definitely cruel to himself, probably cruel to the blond as well. But he didn't care. He wanted this one glimpse, to see how things could never be. He shucked off the vest and tossed it carefully towards the bags in the corner of the room before crossing to the futon and sitting across it, back against the wall.

Black orbs watched the light in blue eyes as Naruto glanced at him from the kitchen. He filled two glasses and walked over. The light from the kitchen cast shadows on his face as he stood next to the futon, gazing down at the raven. Sasuke stared back, eyes expressionless. He leaned forward to accept the glass from the blond and sat back, sipping it slowly. Naruto sat cattycornered to him, leaning against the other wall and watching him. His expression shifted from nervous, to thoughtful, to serious, all in the space of half a glass of water. Sasuke sighed internally as the blond went to open his mouth.

"Don't."

"What?"

"Just don't." Sasuke said, thinking suddenly that this was a stupid idea. Neither of them was who the other one thought they were, not anymore. If they'd ever had a clue to begin with.

Naruto scowled. "Bastard," he said, looking away and finishing the water. He set the glass down next to the futon. Sasuke watched his profile in the glow from the kitchen. His chest tightened, breath painful. He accepted it. He was even more surprised he hadn't recognized the dobe – or was it that he'd started to seem more like the Naruto he'd known in the short span of time they'd spent together? Sasuke himself felt that part of him – the part he'd locked away – had already started to uncurl, like a plant in the desert. He wondered if Naruto had changed tactics on purpose. Maybe the dobe was smarter than he thought.

Not that it would matter.

"Why?"

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow as the blond looked back at him, face serious. He wasn't trying to hide his pain, but it was muted by honest inquiry. He wondered what the blond was asking – why did he want him to not ask those other questions? Or was the why bigger – why did he bring him back to his apartment? Why hadn't he killed him? Why had he left? So many questions hung in the air between them.

Sasuke wasn't completely sure of the answers himself.

Instead of answering, he just finished the water in his glass, never breaking eye contact with the blond. Naruto didn't move as the raven rolled the glass away from the bed, and then shifted his position. The blond watched as Sasuke crouched over him, kneeling next to the blond's outstretched legs. Sasuke gazed down into blue eyes, and opened his mouth as if to speak, but nothing came out. He had no answers for the man beneath him.

The blue eyes darkened, and a tan hand came up, sliding into Sasuke's hair. He noted it, letting his breath ghost over the blond's lips as the hand drew him closer to the other man. Whatever he had to say, he could say with his body. There were fewer questions that way. He'd let the blond assume what he wanted about the truth of the answers.

He brushed his lips down against the other man's, closing his eyes to savor the feeling. He wanted to remember all of this. He would watch everything, later. Now, though, he would taste. He broke slowly into the blond's mouth, wondering at the slight taste of cigarettes in the other's mouth. The taste was not overwhelming, though – Naruto tasted clean, other than that hint of something impure. In those first few moments, there was no hint of their earlier rivalry, or any battle for dominance. There was just taste, and feel, and smell.

Then Sasuke shifted, and the hand in his hair tightened, and the raven felt teeth nip at the end of his tongue lightly. He growled into the kiss, suddenly insistent that the blond realize who was in charge here.

Naruto flipped their positions, pushing Sasuke onto his back and pushing down into the kiss fiercely, tongue battling Sasuke's. The raven kicked him off and crouched on the bed, glaring at the other man. Naruto had caught himself before hitting the wall, and was looking down at the floor. When he looked up, his eyes were wild, and there was a wicked grin on his face. Sasuke found himself smirking in reply.

They launched at each other in a flurry of kicks and blows, most of which were dodged. Naruto pulled out a kunai he'd had hidden on his person, and Sasuke did the same. The knives slid past making any mark on flesh, however, as the two danced around each other. The only casualties were their clothes, falling to the ground in scraps that were kicked out of the way so neither would trip. Sasuke felt excitement surging through him in a way that he hadn't felt for years. He didn't know anyone else who could make him feel like this. This, he supposed idly, was one reason why he'd spared the blond so many times – just this.

The thought was driven out of his head as the blond knocked the kunai out of his hand, throwing his own away before pushing the raven back onto the futon and kissing him violently. Sasuke bucked up against the blond, sliding his nails down the other man's back and grabbing his ass before rolling him over and staring down at the other man. His eyes narrowed at a pattern of dark patches that decorated the blond's chest. It was easy to tell that those weren't merely bruises.

Naruto looked up with challenge as he saw Sasuke's reaction. The raven was surprised at the anger that arose from the idea that someone else had been there before him. He silenced that possessive part with the reminder that he'd chosen to leave. He'd given up all ties to the blond. Still, the knowledge that someone else's hands had been on the blond cut a gash in his heart, even if it was self-inflicted. He would just have to mark him as his own, as well.

His distraction offered Naruto the chance to change their positions again, a hand going down to grasp Sasuke's erection tightly. The raven glared at the dobe. Naruto just chuckled and slid down the other man's body, lips wrapping around his cock with tight wet heat. Sasuke gasped out a slight sound of protest as the idiot wasn't as careful with his teeth as he could have been, and then the black of his eyes bled to red. He watched that mouth work up and down his length, blue eyes looking up at him knowingly, seemingly intent to wring another reaction from the raven. Sasuke narrowed his eyes, sharingan memorizing every move. The feeling of that mouth on him was incredible. Naruto didn't let up, sucking at him, tongue mapping every inch of his cock and massaging his length hard. Somewhere, the dobe had lost a bit of innocence and gained a bit of skill. Sasuke felt that same surge of anger within himself, and acted on it when he felt Naruto's fingers traveling back towards his entrance. He had other plans for the blond idiot.

He waited as Naruto pulled up off his cock and gave him a smirk before moving to pin the blond to the futon, one arm across his throat and the other hand holding the blond's balls. "I don't think so, dobe," Sasuke ground out, looking deep into angry blue eyes. He felt claws press into his skin, and tightened his grip until they loosened.

"What'll it be?" the raven asked, letting his fingers trace back a bit to press against the perineum behind the blond's balls.

"I want your ass," Naruto growled.

"You've always wanted my ass," Sasuke threw back haughtily.

Naruto smirked, eyes narrowing. "Maybe," he admitted.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, and then gave an answering smirk. "Doesn't matter. I'm taking your ass, dobe," he said, pressing his middle finger swiftly against the blond's hole and wringing a hiss from those pale pink lips.

Naruto glared at him, and then subtly relaxed. "This time, maybe."

Sasuke's smirk grew triumphant. He let his gaze trace over the blond's face, amazed he'd ever forgotten it even just a bit. He would never do that again – a blessing and a curse. He thought about the possibilities of Naruto taking him, and felt heat coil in his belly. Then he banished all thoughts of the future and let go of the blond's balls, bringing the hand up to those pink lips. He smirked at the glare in the blond's eyes as he traced the soft flesh, tugging the bottom lip forward with the tip of a finger. Naruto bared his teeth and the raven gave him a warning look. "Careful. Remember what I'm going to be doing in the next few minutes," he said, leaning closer.

Naruto didn't bite, much. He took the offered fingers into his mouth and sucked on them, that talented tongue pressing against the raven. The heat in those blue eyes was almost palatable. Sasuke pressed their lower bodies closer together, rubbing a thigh against Naruto's member. That earned him a small gasp. If Naruto had seemed half expressionless earlier in the evening, he was anything but that now.

Sasuke drew his hand back, letting his fingertips ghost over the blond's body as he leaned in for another kiss, claiming the blond's mouth as his own. He felt Naruto's hands pull his body closer, nails delicately tracing up his back. He had a suspicion that back would bear a few wounds once this was done with. Not that he minded.

He shifted, pulling back from the kiss and nibbling his way down a golden throat, fingertips teasing the blond's entrance. It relaxed to take him in far too easily for his comfort, but he ignored that in favor of marking the blond a bit more harshly than was perhaps required. His fingers slipped inside of the tight heat of the blond's ass as he bit down on a succulent nipple, tongue flicking out to soothe the injured flesh. His cock wanted to be where his fingers were. He wanted to draw this out a bit longer, savor the man beneath him. He estimated the time inside his head, and decided he'd stretch out this self-indulgence as long as he could, this night. It was worth something to know that inside the shell he'd seen earlier was the man he'd always believed Naruto would grow up into.

The blond beneath him bucked against his hand as his fingertips brushed against just the right spot. He memorized its location, wanting to put it to good use later. Naruto's arms tugged him up for another kiss, one sliding down to his ass when he complied. The mouth beneath his was hungry and insistent.

When they broke apart, Naruto glared up at him and said, "If you're going to do it, bastard, then just do it."

Sasuke smirked. He withdrew his fingers and slid between the blond's legs, pulling them up for better leverage. They wrapped around him tightly as he held himself up on his elbows above the blond, looking down into those blue eyes and slowly pushing inside. It was tight – he saw the blond's eyes wince just slightly as he pressed inside without pausing – and oh so delicious. Once fully seated, he pushed his hips against the other man a few times, chuckling to himself at the strangled noise emitted from the throat of the blond.

"Ready, dobe?" he whispered, capturing a soft earlobe between his teeth and twisting his hips. The hands that had slid down to his ass clutched it tightly, nails digging in.

"I thought you were planning on taking my ass, bastard. I figured for more than just a Sunday afternoon stroll in the park – or is that all you know how to do with it?"

Sasuke paused, considering the dobe's choice of words, and then let out a quick breath when the tight heat squeezed around him. Growling, he pulled back all the way and thrust forward, burying himself again and again in that delicious ass. He shifted for better leverage, leaning up and looking down into the blond's eyes, watching a flush spread across the tan skin. The way Naruto was clinging to him, sucking him in, hands urging him deeper and harder, it was almost hard to tell who was the taken and who was the one doing the taking.

He wanted this so much. This was everything he could never let himself have. It was incredible, and beautiful. Naruto's face, his eyes – the way the light from the kitchen was refracted in their depths – the breathless look on his face, those bright half-open wet lips – it was overwhelming. He didn't hold back, this time, just took everything he could from the man beneath him. One of the hands left his ass and snaked between their two bodies. He glanced down, captivated by the sight of Naruto's hand pulling at his cock, and the sight of his own cock being buried in the dark juncture of the blond's thighs. He looked back up at the blond and kissed him, hands fisting in bright yellow hair, wanting to pull him closer to the edge.

It was perfect. Everything that made life worth living, right there in his arms. He never wanted it to be broken or tainted or anything less than what it was again. He drew Naruto to the height of his pleasure and followed him as they fell over the edge into the abyss of sensation. He wondered at the words that left Naruto's lips soon after he came. They opened up another wound in his heart. It might have been easier if it was someone else's name, and not his own.

They rested for a few minutes, and then Sasuke took the time to explore the blond's body properly. He didn't let Naruto take him, though the blond complained. Today, he was being selfish. He wanted to give Naruto everything he could of himself, for just these few hours. They would be over soon enough.

Even before they were over, the blond fell to sleep, exhausted. Sasuke let himself hold the other man as he slept, watching the rise and fall of his chest. He wondered how long his marks would last. He berated himself for his selfishness.

As the light of dawn broke through the window, he slowly disentangled himself from the other man and sat on the edge of the futon, looking back. He smoothed a bit of hair back from Naruto's sleeping face, smiling sadly as the man turned to nuzzle his hand. This was cruel. It was so cruel, to give the blond hope. Sasuke couldn't lie to himself this time – he knew this would probably cut deep for the blond, and most likely he'd be chasing after him with even more passion. He might even offer to come with Sasuke.

He would never let him.

He didn't want to destroy the blond any more than he already had.

The knowledge that the people he would kill were the ones who had played a bigger part in hurting the blond didn't really matter compared to his own responsibility. It did matter, just a bit, that when he was done they wouldn't be able to hurt the dobe anymore, or twist his shining spirit to serve their own purposes. He couldn't lie to himself and say that was why he was going to destroy them. He wanted the blond safe, but knew what was most important to him. His determination let him mute the voice inside that wanted to stay, or to abandon all thought of revenge and go somewhere with the blond where no one would be able to find them.

He had other plans that would be accomplished. Plans that must be accomplished. If nothing else, merely so that the people involved would never ever be able to shape the world to their own screwed up version of reality – and as a warning to anyone else who even thought about doing the same. Any future after that, he couldn't even see. Maybe he would not have one. But at least then, he'd share the fate of the rest of his family, and be able to tell them what he'd done to those who had destroyed them.

He knew he wouldn't stop missing the blond. The emotion was one of many that existed within that he wouldn't let impact his actions. To do what he had to do would require companions that were used to actions that he hoped the blond would never get used to. It also required people who were far more expendable than the blond. He wondered if he was taking a page out of Itachi's playbook, driving this person who mattered so far away that they would be out of danger when the blast wave hit – or at least, motivated to get strong enough to survive it.

He didn't think so. Even now, he wasn't as good as Itachi.

And even now, the dead were worth more to him than the living.

He silently gathered his things and took one last look at the face of the sleeping blond. Next time, he supposed, his ass would be up for the taking. Too bad he couldn't allow this type of self-indulgence again. He swallowed, and turned to slip out the door and into the wilderness before anyone noticed he was gone.


End file.
